異遊記事    創作手札

文/呂紹瑜

    「 蛇洲、野天鵝、棲羽、織女、深幔、曬季、花絨、白孔雀、椰奶沼澤、蘭夜雨林、燭馬、夜嚶草、金絲帶、

心盒、冬季樂園、標本、不眠廣場、午夜作曲家、窗內、鏡屋、旅人、野蘭、柳池、食蛇、古海、北非椰棗林、遊牧、獨眼羊朱利安طر、沼澤妖精、情人、三唇、光斑、篝火、毛伊島、仚菓、樹精、叢林馬術俱樂部、青木瓜、 月瓶、浴火、迷航、白玫瑰、黑玫瑰、 花月、夜行生物、灰天使、密葉猴耳環、潟湖、銀犬、風下草場、黝面、礦閣、劇場、鬣狗、金身、鏡生、軟漠、噴泉、仙人掌、苔湖、玫瑰谷、芰荷、蕾絲、脂髮、生長、纏體、占卜師......」

    意識流的單詞和如幻燈片一樣的畫面，在闔上眼後，源源不絕的浮現，藉由撿拾記憶的線索，勾勒重組、描繪創造並捕捉記錄不同的質地、物件、場域、角色、情節和文化。大腦像是一個神秘的資料庫，會選擇性儲存，而這些無意識或主觀篩選的圖像，也漸漸形成一種精濾後的個人偏好。

夢的素材與記憶碎片

    夢境是對現實加以擴張的遊歷。從幻想未曾去過的異地，進而實地探訪，返後將之歸檔進入記憶的迴圈，隨著時間與其他片段錯疊並複雜化。長期記憶有分為內隱記憶（程序記憶或非陳述記憶）和外顯記憶（陳述性記憶）。其中陳述性記憶可以被清晰的儲存及提取，由「語意記憶」和「情節或敍事記憶」組成。而情節或敍事的記憶，比碎片化的記憶更加強烈，然而這些飄忽不定的記憶碎片卻更耐人尋味，本以為無中生有的杜撰劇場，卻可能其來有自。當溯源的界線被模糊，便可產出無限的排列組合與變形。記憶進大腦存放之後，又用另外一種樣貌浮現，並帶有如同營幕保護程式的隨機性。遊歷數十國，過去所到之處皆成為未來的素材，即使往後不移動身體，仍可以咀嚼回憶中的片段並帶來進一步的延伸想像，混雜著跨文化的浸潤，揉合始於童年的五感的經歷，各種碎片化的影像素材，在日常隨機浮現，成為帶有詩性的隨筆，是我對於內在世界的隱晦並真實的複寫。

影像的不完全再現

    除了大部分無實體參考物的想像，有一部分的作品是以照片為素材，可能是手機隨拍、電影截圖、老照片或底片攝影攝影記錄了所到之處的平面化影像，是一種保存回憶的方式。其中許多是以全機械底片相機捕捉，比起數位器材更笨拙緩慢，但在觀景窗內的對焦與凝視，為影像帶來更深刻的記錄及更濃郁的氛圍。以照片為繪畫素材並不僅是在複製成像，更像是以實體化的影像記憶為題材，創造一個回顧式的模糊場域，並且在繪製的時間裡重遊與實驗。

角色與敘事的鋪陳 

    我習慣將角色符號帶入劇場般的構圖，現身於作品的敘事中，反射多重面貌的自我和對個體間或與自然關係的思索。隱‮٣‬ً符號進入場景和時空中如：噴泉、火、仙人掌、荒漠、布幔迷宮、湖泊、岩層地貌、綠洲、雨林、鏡子、蘭簇….等。常見於故事中的角色如女巫、人魚、永恆少年、游牧人、智者、精靈、鬼魂、新娘、母女、孕婦、野人、半獸、鱷魚、蛇、孔雀、烏鴉、天鵝、巨犬、馬、獨角獸、與各種靈體、野獸或不知名生物。

這些取材自神話、童年、夢境、旅行等神秘且跨文化的象徵符號進入繪畫的敘事中並非僅是純粹陳述表象的故事，而是透過經驗引導對於人性反思，傳達在不同視角下，人對於自我、情結、陰影和集體無意識   「原型」等探索。

靜態平面進入動態情節

每件平面作品，在我的心中都是靈動的存在。我將平面繪畫由靜態轉換為動態的嘗試，在2022年的個展《人間勿語》的系列中便已展開，將三件畫作製成各自獨立循環動畫，建立了初步的轉換；而在此次《異遊記事》中的〈鏡生〉八件系列作品，我更進一步的以分鏡腳本的概念描繪，並製作出‮$‬@件本體為具象敘事卻帶有抽象義意的動畫短片，投影於推疊的織品上，輔以背景聲響，對應原作展示。在空間中垂掛的布幔上投射出的動態畫面，帶有矇朧的光暈，觀者像是被邀請走入我的腦海中，凝視潛意識中所浮現的情節。

陶體與繪畫的務實療癒

陶質雕塑是我用於日常療癒和延伸平面繪畫的創作形態，我家中存放近十種不同的陶與瓷土，以此為基礎去結合不同的媒材如毛線、織品、礦石、玻璃、五金、特殊釉、金箔等，以質地體現出所刻畫的角色和場景，例如以玻璃呈現湖水、眼眸或鏡面；以毛線和織辮做為鬃毛、垂柳或頭髮；以五金製作可轉動肢體的陶偶、掀蓋盒或鞦韆繩；以線材縫補或刺繡於穿孔陶片上；以礦石鑲嵌入偶體或山丘等...各種材質和細節都有其對應的意涵。

「創傷是贈與天真的成長儀式」，面對現實世界中的創傷，我不希望久留原地神傷，更傾向在每一次的生命干擾中，試圖練習修復自我的能力和速度，而這也需要有可執行的內容和寄託，其中創作就是最好的傾訴。我認為創作的純粹動機來自本能的需求，它不僅是一個務實的自我療癒方法，也能將對於自身問題的耽溺，轉換為一種企圖帶給他人由共鳴提取的療癒和關懷。

孵夢與捕捉內在精神

   我是常在白天孵夢的人，這是一種微妙的技能，趨使夢境主題的發生，闔上眼後，奇異畫面便‮٧‬‭|‬接踵而來，為了即時捕捉這些圖像，我習慣在床邊和各處擺放速寫本以便記錄，並嘗試閱讀其背後的訊息。與夜晚不同，晝孵的白日夢是於清醒時在腦中產生幻覺和影像，而不進入真正的睡眠狀態中，可能來自於感受的具象化或回憶的再現和重組 ; 清醒夢則是在睡眠狀態中保持捕捉的動作，有意識地了解自己身處夢中，並保有思考與記憶的能力，刻意記下情節和畫面，清醒時再用最快的速度畫下殘存在腦海中的影像。孵化夢境與捕捉內在精神狀態似乎成了經常性的儀式，提供了一個主動進入潛意識環視的渠道。

Notes on the Making of EXOTICA

by Crystal Lupa

"Oasis of Snakes, Wild Swans, Habitat of Spirits, Spell Weaver, Voile Curtain, Tanning, Floral Velvet, White Peacock, Swamp of Coconut Milk, Orchid Night of Wonders, Horse of Candlelight, Grass of Nightingale, Gold Ribbon, Heart Locket, Winter Wonderland, Bubbul, Specimen, Sleepless Square, Midnight Composer, Mirror House, Traveler, Wild Orchids, Willow Pond, , Snake Hunter, Once upon an Ocean, North Africa, Date Palm Trees, Nomadic, Juliana the Cyclops Goat, Elf of Swamp, The Lover, Lips Trio, Freckles of light, Bonfire, Maui Island, Sacred Fruits, Dryad, Equestrian Club In the Woods, Green Papaya, Moon Vase, Rise From the Ashes, Lost & Found, Black & White Roses, Flower Moon, Nocturnal Creatures, Angel of Ashes, Cojoba, Lagoon, Silver Dog, Pasture in the Breeze, Charcoal Face, Fossils of Petals, Theater, Hyena, Golden Body, Fragments of Memory, Soft Desert, Fountain, Cactus, Moss Lake, Rose Valley, Lotus Lace, Resin & Hair, Growth, Physical, Fortune Teller....“

Along the flow of consciousness, words and slide-like images emerge and overflow in the mind when I close my eyes. Elements collected from my memory are traced and pieced together to delineate, create, and capture different textures, objects, sites, characters, plots, and cultures. The brain, like an unfathomable database, stores things selectively. These images, chosen by the unconscious or the subjective mind, then slowly form my personal preferences through a carefully and thoroughly filtering process. 

Fragments of Dreams and Memories

Dreams are journeys extended from reality. From imagining being in exotic places that I have never visited to actually visiting these places and archiving the memories of the trips after returning home, these memory fragments and segments gradually overlap and become entwined as days pass. 

Long-term memory can be divided into “implicit memory” (procedural or non-declarative memory) and “explicit memory” (declarative memory). The latter, comprising “semantic memory” and “episodic or narrative memory,” can be vividly stored and accessed. In this case, “episodic or narrative memory” is at least five times stronger or vividly remembered than fragmentary memory. However, the elusive and fragmentary memory is somehow more intriguing. When the boundaries between different origins of memories become blurred, these fragments can be combined in endless ways and metamorphose infinitely. Thus, after memories are stored in the brain, they might re-emerge differently and randomly, working in a way that reminds us of some screensaver software. Places I have visited become materials in the future. So, later, even if I do not physically move through actual travels, I am able to recollect the snippets in memory and further imagine. The experiences of intercultural immersion from having visited dozens of countries, mixed with childhood experiences colored by sensory perceptions have become fragmented memories and materials that surface randomly in everyday life and are recorded in a poetic and spontaneous manner—in short, they constitute my ambiguous yet authentic duplication of the inner world.

Incomplete Representation of Images

Apart from imaginations that reference no substantial objects, some of the works are based on photographic images – such as random images taken with iphone, images from films, vintage photos, and those captured with a film camera. These two-dimensional images serve as another way to preserve memories. In the recent decade, I have mostly used mechanical film cameras to take pictures in special occasions, which, compared to their digital counterparts, denotes a clumsier and slow-paced process. However, focusing and gazing through the camera’s viewfinder creates a more memorable process of documentation and atmosphere. To recreate images from photographs through painting is not just about reproducing images. It is closer to using image memories recorded through a physical form to construct a retrospective but blurry site to relive and experiment with the memories during the moments of painting. 

Development of Characters and Narratives

It is a habit of mine to incorporate characters as symbols into theatrical compositions. In the narratives of my work, these symbols reflect the multifaceted self as well as my contemplation on relationships between myself and different individuals or nature. Thus, metaphoric signs enter the scenes and space-time of my work, such as fountain, fire, cactus, desert, a curtain-constructed labyrinth, lake, rocky landform, oasis, rainforest, mirror, clusters of orchids, and so on. Common characters found in my stories include sorceress, mermaid, Puer Aeternus, shepherd, sage, goblin, ghost, bride, mother and daughter, savage, orc, crocodile, snake, peacock, raven, swan, giant hound, horse, unicorn, various types of spirit, beast, and unknown creatures.Drawn from my reading of mythology, childhood memories, dreams, and travel experiences, these mystical and intercultural symbols and signs are woven into the narratives of my paintings. They are not simply narrative elements to portray surface appearances. Instead, they visualize my reflection on humanity through a process guided by experiences and convey human being’s exploration of the “archetypes” – the self, complexes, shadow, and the collective unconscious. 

From Two-dimensional Images to Dynamic Storytelling

Each two-dimensional work resembles a lifelike and animated existence in my mind. Also, I have been converting still works of painting into experimental works of moving images as well. I started this experimentation in my solo exhibition of 2022, The Unspoken Tales, in which I converted three paintings into independent looping animated works. This became the first stage of such conversion. In EXOTICA, I have taken eight works from the Fragments of Memory series to move on to the next stage, using the conceptual framework of a storyboard to produce an animation short film based on concrete narratives but conveying abstract meanings. The work is projected on textile layers and accompanied by background sounds to be shown in juxtaposition with the original works. Furthermore, the moving images projected on pieces of fabrics in different textures hanging from the ceiling are enshrouded in a hazy glow. As if they were ushered into my mind, audiences seem to be looking at the story plots surfacing from my subconscious.